Slay.me

Maura hates blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid. So, she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a heavy
parka and a leather jacket at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK.

She replies “yes”.

He asks what she is doing and she replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb, and she wanted to do it by painting inside the house.

He then asks her why she has a parka over her leather jacket. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it said…

“FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.”

One day, a blonde walked into a store. She examined some of the items on the shelves before walking over to the store owner and saying: “I’d like to buy that TV, please.” The man replied, “I’m sorry, but we don’t sell to blondes.” So, that night, she goes home and dies her hair brown. She goes back to the store the next day, and walks up to the owner, saying “I would like to buy that TV, please.” The man once again replied, “I’m sorry, but we don’t sell to blondes.” Frustrated, she went home, died all her hair black, then came back to the store, and said: “I would like to buy that TV.” The owner of the store replied in a slightly amused voice, “I’m sorry, but we don’t sell to blondes.” At the end of her limit, the blonde cut all of her hair off, went to the store, and said, “I’d like to buy that TV.” The man said, “We don’t sell to blondes.” The blonde, extremely frustrated, said, “How do you even know I’m a blonde?!” The man replied, in a calm voice: “For starters that’s not a TV, that’s a microwave.”

By: Tom Bennington

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew’s refrigerator.

He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.

Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.
Shortly before landing in New York , she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, “Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans please raise your hand?”

Not one hand went up ….. so she took them home and ate them.

Two lessons here:
1. Lawyers aren’t as smart as they think they are.
2. Blondes aren’t as dumb as most folks think!