03
Dec
Archive for the ‘Tiger Woods Jokes’ Category
02
Dec
The Latest Tiger Woods Accident Jokes:
• FLA Highway Patrol: Mrs. Woods, how many times did you hit Tiger with a golf club?
Mrs. Woods: 8 times, but put me down for a 5.
• What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.
• What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning?
They went clubbing
• Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.
• Ping just offered Elin Woods an endorsement contract pushing her own set of drivers. They said to named Elin Woods…”clubs you can beat Tiger with.”
• Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat family–his new name?: Cheetah
• Since Tiger drives an Escalade, can he blame the accident on his Caddy?
· FLA Highway Patrol: Mrs. Woods, how many times did you hit Tiger with a golf club?
Mrs. Woods: 8 times, but put me down for a 5.
· What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.
· What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning?
They went clubbing
· Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.
· Ping just offered Elin Woods an endorsement contract pushing her own set of drivers. They said to named Elin Woods…”clubs you can beat Tiger with.”
· Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat family–his new name?: Cheetah
· Since Tiger drives an Escalade, can he blame the accident on his Caddy?
08
Aug
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, “I have a confession to make, I’m not a virgin.”
The husband replies, “That’s no big thing in this day and age.”
The wife continues, “Yeah, I’ve been with one guy.”
“Oh yeah? Who was the guy?”
“Tiger Woods.”
“Tiger Woods, the golfer?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, he’s rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him.”
The husband and wife then make passionate love.
When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.
“What are you doing?” asks the wife.
The husband says, “I’m hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat.”
“Tiger wouldn’t do that.”
“Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?”
“He’d come back to bed and do it a second time.”
The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.
When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. “Now what are you doing?” she asks.
The husband says, “I’m still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat.”
“Tiger wouldn’t do that.”
“Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?”
“He’d come back to bed and do it again.”
The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.
When they finish he’s tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.
The wife asks, “Are you calling room service?”
“No! I’m calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this damn hole.”