Archive for the ‘Sick Perverted Jokes’ Category


Joke of the DayAn 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his prostrate examination.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, ‘Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.’

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, ‘Well, doc, it’s like this — first I tried with my right hand, but nothing.

Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.

‘Then I asked my wife for help.  She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.

She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.

‘We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still nothing.’

The doctor was shocked!

‘You asked your neighbor?’

The old man replied, ‘Yep, none of us could get the jar open.’

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NurseA policeman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed Appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his groin area. Worried that it might be a second surgery that the doctors hadn’t told him about it, he finally got enough courage to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.

It didn’t take long to discover the cause for his discomfort. Taped firmly across his pubic hair and private parts were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn’t come off easily – – – if at all.

Written on the tape in large black letters was the sentence, “Get well soon from the nurse in the 2013 Ford Explorer you pulled over last week.”

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May Joke of the DayA Japanese couple is having an argument over ways of performing highly erotic sex :

Husband : Sukitaki.

Wife replies : Kowanini !

Husband says : Toka a anji rodi roumi yakoo !

Wife on her knees literally begging : Mimi nakoundinda tinkouji !

Husband replies angrily : Na miaou kina Tim kouji !

I can’t believe you just sat and tried to read this . As if you understand Japanese !

Unbelievable !

I knew you would read anything as long as it is about sex.  You need help !!

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