Archive for the ‘Marriage Jokes’ Category

08
Jul

Slay.me Joke of the DayTwo good ol’ boys in a Tennessee trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local Nissan plant.

After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, “If’n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin’ and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?”

The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, “Well, I don’t know about kin, but it would make us even!”

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03
Jul

Slay.me Joke of the DayA guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?

“The barber looked around the shop full of customers  and said, “About  2 hours.” The guy left.

A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked,  “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looked around at the shop and said, “About 3 hours.” The guy left.

A week later the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looked around the shop and said, “About an hour and half.” The guy left.

The barber turned to a friend and said, “Hey, Bill, do me a favor. Follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then he doesn’t ever come back.” A little while later, Bill returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.

The barber asked, “So where does that guy go when he leaves?”

Bill looked up, tears in his eyes and said…….

“Your house.”

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03
Apr

Maura hates blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid. So, she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

Slay.me Joke of the DayWhile her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a heavy
parka and a leather jacket at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK.

She replies “yes”.

He asks what she is doing and she replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb, and she wanted to do it by painting inside the house.

He then asks her why she has a parka over her leather jacket. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it said…

“FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.”

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