Archive for the ‘Marriage Jokes’ Category

04
Nov

Joke of the DayA New York judge is presiding over the divorce proceedings of a Jewish couple.

When the final papers have been signed and the divorce is completed, the woman thanks the judge and says, “Now I have to arrange for a Gett.”

The judge inquires what she means by a Gett.

So, the woman explains that a Gett is a religious ceremony required under the Jewish religion in order to receive a divorce recognized by the Jewish faith.

The judge says, “You mean a religious ceremony like a Bris?”

She replies, “Yes, very similar, only in this case you get rid of the entire prick.

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21
Oct

Today, a friend of mine’s wife said to him, “Honey, get off your ass and fix that gutter downspout!

And, I want it done before the end of the day!”

Well, as you all know, at my age, my  friend, and most our age, are retired and do have the time to address such “Honey do’s”..

So, he invited some of us neighborhood buddies over to help with the project. One is a sheet metal  fabricator. One brought his welder. One brought beer and Nachos. One brought a grill and burgers. Took us about 4-6 hours, and  30-40 beers, but we got it done just as we finished off the last of the burgers.

As usual, the wife is still not happy! Can’t understand, cause all us guys love it!

Personally, I can’t wait for it to rain !

Downspout

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17
Jul

Funny LeprechaunThe mother-in-law arrives home from shopping to find her son-in-law  Paddy in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase.

“What  happened Paddy ?” she asks anxiously.

“What happened!! I’ll tell you what happened. I sent an email to my wife  (your daughter) telling her I was coming home today from my fishing  trip. I get home . . . and guess what I found? Yes, your daughter, my wife  Jean, naked with Joe Murphy in our marital bed! This is unforgivable,  the end of our marriage. I’m done. I’m leaving forever!”

“Ah now, calm down, calm down Paddy!” says his mother-in-law. “There  is something very odd going on here. My daughter would never do such a  thing! There must be a simple explanation. I’ll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened.”

Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile.

“Paddy. I told you there must be a simple explanation ….

She never got your E-mail!”

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