Slay.me

Roger, 85, married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old.

Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together.

After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the expected knock on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, Roger takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.

After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it’s Roger, Again he is ready for more ‘action’. Somewhat surprised, Jenny consents for more coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Roger kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.

She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha, you guessed it – Roger is back again, rapping on the door and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more ‘action’. And, once more they enjoy each other.

But as Roger gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, ‘I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once.

You are truly a great lover, Roger.’

Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says: ‘You mean I was here already?’

The moral of the story:
Don’t be afraid of getting old, Alzheimer’s has its advantages.

Here are the texting codes for the older generation:

ATD – at the doctor.
BFF – best friend fell.
BTW -bring the wheelchair .
BYOT – bring your own teeth.
FWIW – forgot where I was.
GGPBL – gotta go, pacemaker battery low.
GHA – got heartburn again.
IMHO – is my hearing aid on?
LMDO -laughing my dentures out.
OMMR – on my massage recliner.
WIWYA – when I was your age.
ROFLACGU – rolling on floor laughing and can’t get up.

An elderly lady decided to give  herself a big treat for her significant birthday by staying overnight in  one of London’s most expensive hotels.
When she checked out next morning,  the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00.

She exploded and demanded to know  why the charge was so high. “It’s a nice hotel but the rooms certainly  aren’t worth $250.00 for just an overnight stop  without even breakfast.”
The clerk told her that  $250.00  is the ‘standard rate’ so she insisted on speaking to the  Manager.

The Manager appeared and forewarned  by the desk clerk announced: “The hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a  huge conference center which are available for use.”
“But I didn’t use them,” she said.

“Well, they are here, and  you could have,” explained the  Manager.

He went on to explain that she  could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is  famous. “We have the best entertainers from Edinburgh, Glasgow, and  Aberdeen performing here,” the Manager said.

“But I didn’t go to any  of those shows,” she said.

“Well, we have them, and you could  have,” the Manager replied.

No matter what amenity the Manager  mentioned, she replied, “But I didn’t use  it!”

The Manager was unmoved, so she  decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to the Manager.

The  Manager was surprised when he looked at the check.  “But madam,  this check is only made out for $50.00.” “That’s correct. I charged  you $200.00 for sleeping with me,” she  replied.

“But I didn’t!” exclaims the very  surprised Manager..

“Well, too bad, I was here, and you  could have.”