Slay.me

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet & have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out & make love for the first time.

The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it’s his first time &  the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms & sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he’d like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.

The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time & all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl’s parents house & meets his girlfriend at the door. ‘Oh, I’m so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!’

The boy goes inside & is taken to the dinner table where the girl’s parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace & bows his head. A minute passes & the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.

10 minutes pass & still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over & whispers to the boyfriend, ‘I had no idea you were this religious.’

The boy turns & whispers back, ‘I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.’

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter,

“Hey, you wanna hear a blond joke?”

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a verydeep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,  “Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only
fair, considering that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blond girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blond girl.

3.I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blond woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blond and a professional weightlifter.

5. The lady to your right is blond and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, “No…not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

This joke was submitted by one of our Readers, Ellae E.

What is the difference between having a pit bull or a poodle hump your leg?

You let the pit bull finish!