Slay.me

No matter what this husband did in bed, his wife never achieved an orgasm..

Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to consult their Rabbi. The Rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion:

‘Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you.

That will help your wife fantasize and should bring on an orgasm..’

They go home and follow the Rabbi’s advice. They hire a handsome young man and he waves a towel over them as they make love. It does not help and the wife is still unsatisfied. Perplexed, they go back to the Rabbi.

‘Okay,’ he says to the husband, ‘Try it reversed. Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them.’

Once again, they follow the Rabbi’s advice. They go home and hire, the same strapping young man. The young man gets into bed with the wife and the husband waves the towel.

The young man gets to work with great enthusiasm and soon she has an enormous, room-shaking, ear-splitting screaming orgasm. The husband smiles, looks at the young man and says to him triumphantly,

‘See that, you schmuck? THAT’S how you wave a towel!!

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR
OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN’T LOOK THAT OLD.
WELL . . . YOU’LL LOVE THIS ONE.

MY NAME IS ALICE , AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING
ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.

I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA ON THE WALL, WHICH BORE HIS
FULL NAME. SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME,
DARK-HAIREDBOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL
CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO.

COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON,
WAY BACK THEN?

UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH
THOUGHT.

THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED
FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.

AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD
ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL …

“YES. YES, I DID. I’M A MUSTANG,” HE GLEAMED WITH
PRIDE.

WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?’ I ASKED.

HE ANSWERED, “IN 1975. WHY DO YOU ASK?”

“YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!” I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.

THEN, THAT UGLY,

OLD,

BALD,

WRINKLED FACED,

FAT-ASSED,

GRAY-HAIRED,

DECREPIT

SON-OF-A-BITCH

ASKED,

“WHAT DID YOU TEACH???”

Gennaro walks to work 20 blocks every day and passes a shoe store twice every day.

Each day he stops and looks in the window to admire the Boccelli leather shoes.

He wants those shoes so much…

it’s all he can think about.

After about 2 months he saves the price of the shoes, $300, and purchases them.

Every Friday night the Italian community holds a dance in the church basement.

Gennaro seizes this opportunity to wear his new Boccelli leather shoes for the first time.

He asks Sophia to dance and as they dance he asks her, ‘Sophia, do you wear red panties tonight?’

Startled, Sophia replies,  ‘Yes, Gennaro, I do wear red panties tonight, But how do you know?’

Gennaro answers, ‘I see the reflection in my new $300 Boccelli leather shoes.  How do you like them?’

Next he asks Rosa to dance,  and after a few minutes he asks, ‘Rosa , do you wear white panties tonight?’

Rosa answers,  ‘Yes, Gennaro, I do,  But how do you know that?’

He replies,  ‘I see the reflection in my new $300 Boccelli leather shoes… How do you like them?’

Now as the evening is almost over and the last song is being played, Gennaro asks Carmela to dance.

Midway through the dance his face turns red…  He states, ‘Carmela, be stilla my heart, Please, please tell me you wear no panties tonight, Please, please, tella me this true!’

Carmela smiles coyly and answers, ‘Yes Gennaro, I wear no panties tonight…’

Gennaro gasps, ‘Thanka God …

I thought I had a CRACK in my $300 Boccelli leather shoes!’