Archive for the ‘Funny Jokes’ Category

20
Nov

The Old Jewish Breast Man

Slay.me Joke of the DayA little old Jewish man is walking down the street one afternoon, when he sees a woman with perfect breasts.

He says to her, “Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100?”

“Are you nuts?!” she replies, and keeps walking away.

He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does. “Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000 dollars?” he asks again.

“Listen you; I’m not that kind of woman! Got it?”

So the little old Jewish man runs around the next block and faces her again, “Would you let me bite your breasts – just once – for $10,000 dollars?!”

She thinks about it for a while and says, “Hmmmmm, $10,000 dollars…; Ok, just once, but not here. Let’s go to that dark alley over there.”

So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world.  As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them,burying his face in them – but not biting them.

The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, “Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?”

“Nah,” says the little old Jewish man … costs too much!”

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19
Nov

The Economist

Slay.me Joke of the DayA man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. The man tells the shepherd, “I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock.”

The shepherd thinks it over; it’s a big flock, so he takes the bet.

“973,” says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right.

The shepherd says “OK, I’m a man of my word, take an animal.” The man picks one up and begins to walk away.

“Wait,” cries the shepherd, “Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation.” The man says sure.

“You are an economist for a government think tank,” says the shepherd.

“Amazing!” responds the man, “You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you deduce that?”

“Well,” says the shepherd, “put down my dog and I will tell you.”

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18
Nov

The Blonde Password

Slay.me Joke of the DayDuring a recent company password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:

MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy

When asked why such a big password, she said that it had to be at least 8 characters long.

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