Slay.me

A business man  got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, ‘T-G-I-F!’

He smiled at her and replied, ‘S-H-I-T.’
She looked puzzled and repeated, ‘T-G-I-F.’ more slowly.

He again answered, ‘S-H-I-T.’

The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile, and said as sweetly as possibly, ‘T -G – I – F.’

The man smiled back to her and once again said ‘S-H-I-T.’

The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain. ‘T-G-I-F’ means ‘Thank Goodness It’s Friday.’ Get it,  duuhhh?’

The man answered,  ”S-H-I-T’ means ‘Sorry, Honey, it’s Thursday’

Michael Jackson is walking out from the operating room after his wife gave birth to their son.

Michael says “Hey Doc how long till we can have sex?”

The Doctor says “At least wait till he is walking Michael!!”

Mickey Mouse is having a nasty divorce with Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation.

“I’m sorry Mickey, but I can’t legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane…”

Mickey replied, “I didn’t say she was mentally insane, I said that she’s fucking goofy!”