A Japanese couple is having an argument over ways of performing highly erotic sex :
Husband : Sukitaki.
Wife replies : Kowanini !
Husband says : Toka a anji rodi roumi yakoo !
Wife on her knees literally begging : Mimi nakoundinda tinkouji !
Husband replies angrily : Na miaou kina Tim kouji !
I can’t believe you just sat and tried to read this . As if you understand Japanese !
Unbelievable !
I knew you would read anything as long as it is about sex. You need help !!
Ole was hunting geese up in the Minnesota woods.
He leaned the old 16 gauge against the corner of the blind to take a leak. As luck would have it, his foolish dog Dawson knocked the gun over, it went off and Ole took most of an ounce of #4 in the groin.
Several hours later, lying in a Duluth hospital bed, he came to and there was his doctor, Sven. “Vell Ole, I got some good news and some bad news. Da good news is dat you are going to be OK. Da damage vas local to your groin, dere was very little internal damage, and I vas able to remove all of da buckshot.”
“What’s the bad news?”, asks Ole
“The bad news is dat dere vas some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your pecker. I’m going to have to refer you to my sister, Lena ..”
“Well, I guess that isn’t too bad,” says Ole. “Is your sister a plastic surgeon?”
“Not exactly,” Sven says. “She’s a flute player in da Minneapolis Symphony Orchestra.
And because all you have is Obamacare, She’s going to teach you vhere to put your fingers, so you don’t pee in your eye.”
Maura hates blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid. So, she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.
While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.
Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a heavy
parka and a leather jacket at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK.
She replies “yes”.
He asks what she is doing and she replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb, and she wanted to do it by painting inside the house.
He then asks her why she has a parka over her leather jacket. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it said…
“FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.”