Slay.me

Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still hasn’t gotten out of her mourning stage. Her daughter is constantly  calling her and urging her to get back into the world.

Finally, Sadie says she’d go out, but didn’t know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies: “Mom! I have someone for you to meet.

Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asks her to join him for a weekend  in the Catskills.

Their first night there, she undresses as he does.  There she stood nude except for a pair of black lacy panties, he in his birthday suit.

Looking at her he asks: “Why the black panties?”

She replies: “My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but, down there I am still in mourning.” He knows he’s not getting lucky that night.

The following night, the same scenario…

He’s standing there with the black panties on, and he is in his birthday suit…  except that he is wearing a black condom.

She looks at him and asks:  “What’s with this…a black condom?”

He replies: “I want to make a Shiva call.”

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, the computer advised him that he would  now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on. The husband
was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect  to bring this to his wife’s attention. So, when the computer asked him to  enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife what he was entering by stating each letter out loud as he typed:

P…E…N…I…S

His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:

**** PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH***

An Italian man said , “Last week, my wife and I had great sex.  I rubbbed her body all over with olive oil, we made passionate love,  and she screamed for a five full minutes at the  end.”

The Frenchman boasted, “Last week when my wife and I had sex, I rubbed  her body all over with butter. We then made passionate love and she screamed for fifteen minutes.”

The Jewish man said, “Well, last week my wife and I also had sex.  I rubbed her body all over with schmaltz. We made love, and she screamed for over six hours.”

The other two were stunned. The amazed Frenchman asked, “What could you have possibly done to make your wife scream for over six hours?”

The Jewish man said, “I wiped my hands on the bedspread.”