Posts Tagged ‘jewish sex’
17
Dec

Dating a Jewish Widow

Slay.me Joke of the DaySadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still hasn’t gotten out of her mourning stage. Her daughter is constantly  calling her and urging her to get back into the world.

Finally, Sadie says she’d go out, but didn’t know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies: “Mom! I have someone for you to meet.

Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asks her to join him for a weekend  in the Catskills.

Their first night there, she undresses as he does.  There she stood nude except for a pair of black lacy panties, he in his birthday suit.

Looking at her he asks: “Why the black panties?”

She replies: “My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but, down there I am still in mourning.” He knows he’s not getting lucky that night.

The following night, the same scenario…

He’s standing there with the black panties on, and he is in his birthday suit…  except that he is wearing a black condom.

She looks at him and asks:  “What’s with this…a black condom?”

He replies: “I want to make a Shiva call.”

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05
Mar

Jewish Sex Joke

Slay.me Joke of the DayNo matter what this husband did in bed, his wife never achieved an orgasm..

Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to consult their Rabbi. The Rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion:

‘Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you.

That will help your wife fantasize and should bring on an orgasm..’

They go home and follow the Rabbi’s advice. They hire a handsome young man and he waves a towel over them as they make love. It does not help and the wife is still unsatisfied. Perplexed, they go back to the Rabbi.

‘Okay,’ he says to the husband, ‘Try it reversed. Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them.’

Once again, they follow the Rabbi’s advice. They go home and hire, the same strapping young man. The young man gets into bed with the wife and the husband waves the towel.

The young man gets to work with great enthusiasm and soon she has an enormous, room-shaking, ear-splitting screaming orgasm. The husband smiles, looks at the young man and says to him triumphantly,

‘See that, you schmuck? THAT’S how you wave a towel!!

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