Archive for the ‘Sex Jokes’ Category

13
Jul

Slay.me Joke of the DayA woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman’s husband also comes home.

She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, “Dark in here.”
The man says, “Yes, it is.”
Boy – “I have a baseball.”
Man – “That’s nice.”
Boy – “Want to buy it?”
Man – “No, thanks.”
Boy – “My dad’s outside.”
Man – “OK, how much?”
Boy – “$250”

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy – “Dark in here.”
Man – “Yes, it is.”
Boy – “I have a baseball glove.”
The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, “How much?”
Boy – “$750”
Man – “Fine.”

A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your glove, let’s go outside and have a game of catch.” The boy says, “I can’t, I sold my baseball and my glove.” The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?”

Boy – “$1,000”

The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like
that…that is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, “Dark in here.”
The priest says, “Don’t start that shit again.”

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10
Jun

Grandpa and Viagra

Slay.me Joke of the DayGrandma and Grandpa were visiting Their kids overnight.

When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in His son’s medicine cabinet,  he asked About using one of the pills. The son said,  ” I don’t think you should Take one Dad;  they’re very strong And very expensive. ”

” How much ?”   asked Grandpa.

“$10.00 a pill, “Answered the son.

” I don’t care, ”   said Grandpa,  “I’d still like to Try one, and before we leave in the Morning, I’ll put the money Under the pillow. ”

Later the next morning,  the son found $110 under the pillow.

He called  Grandpa and said,  ” I told  You each pill was $10, not  $110. !”

“I know, ”   said Grandpa. ” The Hundred is from Grandma!  “

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05
Jun

The Jimmy Kimmel, Sarah Silverman, Matt Damon, and Ben Affleck Love Triangle

This happened about a year ago, but was funny as hell, here are the videos in case you missed it. Watch them in order.

First Sara Silverman tells Jimmy Kimmel that she is F*@#ing Matt Damon:

Then Jimmy Kimmel Responds:

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