Archive for the ‘Joke of the Day’ Category

09
Jan

A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day, the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning.

After dusting themselves off, the Nun and the Priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the Priest spoke. ‘Well, Sister, this looks pretty grim.’

‘I know, Father. In fact, I don’t think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two..’

‘I agree,’ says the Father. ‘Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?’

‘Anything, Father.’

‘I have never seen a woman’s breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours.’

‘Well, under the circumstances I don’t see that it would do any harm.’

The Nun opened her habit and the Priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty.

‘Sister, would you mind if I touched them?’…

She consented and he fondled them for several minutes..

‘Father, could I ask something of you?’

‘Yes, Sister?’

‘I have never seen a man’s penis. Could I see yours?’

‘I suppose that would be OK,’ the Priest replied lifting his robe.

‘Oh Father, may I touch it?’

The priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was sporting a huge erection.

‘Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it can Give Life.’

‘Is that true Father?’

‘Yes, it is, Sister.’

‘Oh Father, that’s wonderful … Stick it in the camel and let’s get the hell out of here!’

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09
Jan

A reporter asks Bill Clinton, “How’s Hillary’s head?”

“We’ll, she’s no Monica.”

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07
Jan

100 Feet of Fence

An Engineer, Physicist, and Mathematician are each given 100 feet of fence and asked to enclose the largest area possible with it.

The engineer quickly says, “I’ve got it!” and builds a 25 by 25 foot square.

The physicist looks it over, then says, “that’s pretty good, but I think I can do a little better.”  He then arranges the fence in a circle with a circumference of 100 feet.

The mathematician then looks at the square, looks at the circle, and after a moment of thought takes a small section of fence, wraps it around himself, and declares, “I define myself to be the outside!”

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