Slay.me

A cabbie picks up a Nun.

She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her.

She asks him why he is staring.

He replies: “I have a question to ask you but I don’t want to offend you.”

She answers, “My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”

“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.”

She responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that.  There are 2 conditions. #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic.”

The cab driver is very excited and says,  “Yes, I’m single and Catholic!”

“OK,” the nun says. “Pull into the next alley.”

The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush..

But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying..

“My dear child,” says the nun, “why are you crying?”

“Forgive me but I’ve sinned. I lied and I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”

The nun says, “That’s OK. My name is Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween party.”

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say “Supersex..”

She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair Flipping her gown at him, she said, “Supersex.”

He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, “I’ll take the soup.”

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s business..

Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town’s only bar one after noon.

She emphatically told Frank (and several others) that every one seeing it there **WOULD KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING !**

Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away.  He didn’t explain, defend, or deny.

He said nothing..

Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred’s house, walked home…and left it there all night.