26
Jan
Our first ever, funny caption contest will end on Jan 31st, it’s not too late to enter!
Visit this link to see the photo and enter your caption entry as a comment to the post!
26
Jan
After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn’t in quite some time.
It almost tickled as he fingers started at her neck and then began moving down past the small of her back.
He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down over her breasts, stopping just over her lower stomach.
He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past the side of her breast again, working down her side, passed gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. then, he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, roller over and started to watch the tv.
As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, “that was wonderful. Why did you stop?”
He said “I found the remote”.
25
Jan
I went to the doctor for my yearly physical.
The nurse started with certain basics.
“How much do you weigh?” she asked.
“135,” I replied..
It turns out my weight is 180.
The nurse asked: “Your height?”
“5 feet, 6 inches,” I answered.
The nurse checked and saw that
I only measure 5 feet, 3 inches.
She then took my blood pressure
and told me that it’s very high.
“Of course it’s high!” I screamed.
“When I came in here
I was tall and slender! Now I’m short and fat!”
She put me on Prozac..
What a bitch!