Posts Tagged ‘attorney’
02
Aug

Slay.me Joke of the DayA local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

“Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give back to the community in some way?”

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, “First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?”

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, “Um … no.”

The lawyer interrupts, “or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?”

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

“or that my sister’s husband died in a traffic accident,” the lawyer’s voice rising in indignation, “leaving her penniless with three children?!”

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, “I had no idea…”

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, “So if I don’t give any money to them, why should I give any to you?”

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28
Jul

Slay.me Joke of the DayA rabbit and a snake, both blind from birth, happen to meet in the forest one day. They get to talking and the rabbit asks the snake, “Would you mind running your hands (not knowing what a snake looks like) over my body and telling me what kind of an animal I am? I’m too embarrassed to ask my near-sighted friends because I’m afraid they’ll make fun of me.”

The snake says, “Okay,” and proceeds to wind himself around the rabbit from one end to the other, then back again. “Well,” the snake says, “You’re kind of warm with real soft fur and you have two very long, fury ears.”

The rabbit thinks about that for a moment and then exclaims, “W O W! I must be a bunny!” and he hops around and hops around and starts hopping away.

“Wait!” shouts the snake, “What about me? Come back here and do the same thing for me!”

The rabbit hops over and with his fury little paws, pats the snake from one end to the other and then back again. He sits down without saying a word.

“Well?” asks the snake, “What kind of animal an I?”

“I’m not really sure,” says the rabbit. “You’re kind of cold and slimy, and for the life of me, I can’t tell your head from your ass.”

The snake thinks and thinks about this, then exclaims, “W O W! I must be a lawyer!”

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