Posts Tagged ‘baby’
28
Sep

Murphy’s old lady had been  pregnant for some time and now the time had come.

He brought her to the  doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby

She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Murphy and said. ‘Hey,  Murph! You just had you a son,!

‘Ain’t dat grand, !!’ Murphy got excited by this, but just then the doctor  spoke up and said, ‘Hold on! We ain’t  finished  yet, !’

The doctor then delivered a little girl.

He said, ‘Hey, Murph! You got you a  daughter, !!!! She is a pretty lil ting, too….’

Murphy got kind of puzzled by this and then the doctor said, ‘Hold on, we  aint got done yet, !’

The doctor then delivered another boy and said,  Murph, you just had  yourself another boy, !’

Murphy said to the doctor, ‘Doc, what caused all of dem  babies,?’

The doctor said, ‘You never know Murph, it was probably something that happened during  conception.’

Murphy said, ‘Ah yeah, during conception.’

When Murph and his wife went home with their three  children, he sat down with his wife and said,

‘Mama, you remember dat night  that we ran out of Vaseline and we had to use dat dere 3-in-1 Oil.’

She said, ‘Yeah, I  remember dat night…’

Murph said, ‘I’ll tell you, ……it’s a  f”” kin’ good ting we didn’t use WD-40.

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05
Aug

Slay.me Joke of the DayA mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago

The little boy, who had been looking out the window, turned to his mother and asked, ‘If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?’

The mother, who couldn’t think of an answer, told her son to ask the flight attendant.

So the boy went down the aisle and asked the flight attendant, ‘If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?’

The busy flight attendant smiled and said, ‘Did your mother tell you to ask me?’

The boy said, ‘Yes, she did.’

“Well then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time.  Ask her to explain that to you.’

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20
Dec

Slay.me Joke of the DayA pregnant woman walks into a bank, and lines up at the first available teller. Just at that moment the bank gets robbed and she is shot three times in the stomach. She was rushed to the hospital where she was fixed up. As she leaves she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor says, “Oh! You’re going to have triplets. They’re fine but each one has a bullet lodged in its stomach. Don’t worry though the bullets will pass through their system through normal metabolism.”

As time goes on the woman has three children, two girls and a boy. Twelve years later, one of the girls comes up to her mother and says “Mommy, I’ve done a very weird thing!”

Her mother asks her what happened and her daughter replies, “I passed a bullet into the toilet.” The woman comforts her and explains all about the accident at the bank.

A few weeks later, her other daughter comes up to her with tears streaming from her eyes. “Mommy, I’ve done a very bad thing!” The mother says, “Let me guess. You passed a bullet into the toilet, right?”

The daughter looks up from her teary eyes and says, “Yes, how did you know?”

The mother comforts her child and explains about the incident at the bank.

A month later the boy comes up and says, “Mommy, I’ve done a very bad thing!”

“You passed a bullet into the toilet, right?”

“No, I was masturbating and I shot the dog.”

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