Slay.me

DIARY: DAY 1

All packed for the cruise ship — all my sexiest dresses and make-up. Really excited.

DIARY: DAY 2

Entire day at sea, beautiful and saw whales and dolphins. Met the Captain today — seems like a very nice man.

DIARY: DAY 3

At the pool today. Also some shuffle boarding and hit golf balls off the deck. Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. Felt honored and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and attentive.

DIARY:DAY 4

Won $800.00 in the ship’s casino. Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a luxurious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the nigh t but I declined. Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband.

DIARY: DAY 5

Pool again today, got sunburned, and went inside to drink at piano bar for rest of day. Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks. Really is charming. Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night. Again I declined. He told me if I did not let him have his way with me he would sink the ship. I was shocked.

DIARY: DAY 6

Today I saved 1600 lives.
Twice.

A business man  got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, ‘T-G-I-F!’

He smiled at her and replied, ‘S-H-I-T.’
She looked puzzled and repeated, ‘T-G-I-F.’ more slowly.

He again answered, ‘S-H-I-T.’

The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile, and said as sweetly as possibly, ‘T -G – I – F.’

The man smiled back to her and once again said ‘S-H-I-T.’

The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain. ‘T-G-I-F’ means ‘Thank Goodness It’s Friday.’ Get it,  duuhhh?’

The man answered,  ”S-H-I-T’ means ‘Sorry, Honey, it’s Thursday’

Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake were walking along the beach. Suddenly, Justin says, “Aww, Britney, look at the dead birdie.”

Britney looks up at the sky and says, “Where?!”