Posts Tagged ‘farm’
08
Mar

Slay.me Joke of the DayOnce there was a little boy who lived in the country.

The boy and his family had to use an outhouse, and the little boy hated it because it was so hot in the summer and freezing cold in the winter and stank all the time. The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek
and the boy was determined that one day he would push that old Outhouse straight into the creek.

One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so the little boy decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek. He found a large stick and started pushing. Finally, the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away.

That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after Supper.

Knowing that meant a spanking, the little boy asked why.

The dad replied, “Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It was you, wasn’t it son?”

The boy answered yes. Then he thought a moment and said, “Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn’t
get into trouble because he told the truth.”

The dad replied, “Well, son, George Washington’s father wasn’t in the cherry tree…”

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03
Nov

Slay.me Joke of the DayAn old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens. The current rooster was still doing an okay job, but he was getting on in years and the farmer figured getting a new rooster couldn’t hurt. So he buys a new cock from the local rooster emporium, and turns him loose in the barnyard. Well, the old rooster sees the young one strutting around and he’s a little worried about being replaced. He walks up to the new bird.

“So you’re the new stud in town? I bet you really think you’re hot stuff don’t you? Well I’m not ready for the chopping block yet. I’ll bet I’m still the better bird. And to prove it, I challenge you to a race around that hen house over there. We’ll run around it ten times and whoever finishes first gets to have all the hens for himself.”

Well, the young rooster was a proud sort, and he definitely thought he was more than a match for the old guy.

“You’re on,” he said, “and since I’m so great, I’ll even give you a head start of half a lap. I’ll still win easy!”

So the two roosters go over to the henhouse to start the race with all the hens gathering to watch. The race begins and all the hens start cheering the old rooster on. After the first lap, the old rooster is still maintaining his lead.

After the second lap, the old guy’s lead has slipped a little — but he’s still hanging in there. Unfortunately, the old rooster’s lead continues to slip each time around, and by the fifth lap he’s just barely in front of the young fella. By now the farmer has heard the commotion. He runs into the house, gets his shotgun and runs into the barnyard figuring a fox or something is after his chickens. When he gets there, he sees the two roosters running around the henhouse, with the old rooster still slightly in the lead. He immediately takes his shotgun, aims, fires, and blows the young rooster away.

“Damn. That’s the third gay rooster I’ve bought this month.”

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31
Oct

Slay.me Joke of the DayA newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. While they were walking through the barn, the farmer’s mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly.

At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head “Yes” and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, he would shake his head, “No” and mumble a reply. Curious, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about.

The farmer replied, ”The women would say, ‘What a terrible tragedy’ and I would nod my head and say, ‘Yes, it was.’ The men would ask, ‘You wanna sell that mule?’ and I would shake my head and say, ‘Can’t. It’s all booked up for a year.'”

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