HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR
OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN’T LOOK THAT OLD.
WELL . . . YOU’LL LOVE THIS ONE.
MY NAME IS ALICE , AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING
ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.
I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA ON THE WALL, WHICH BORE HIS
FULL NAME. SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME,
DARK-HAIREDBOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL
CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO.
COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON,
WAY BACK THEN?
UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH
THOUGHT.
THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED
FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.
AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD
ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL …
“YES. YES, I DID. I’M A MUSTANG,” HE GLEAMED WITH
PRIDE.
WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?’ I ASKED.
HE ANSWERED, “IN 1975. WHY DO YOU ASK?”
“YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!” I EXCLAIMED.
HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.
THEN, THAT UGLY,
OLD,
BALD,
WRINKLED FACED,
FAT-ASSED,
GRAY-HAIRED,
DECREPIT
SON-OF-A-BITCH
ASKED,
“WHAT DID YOU TEACH???”