Posts Tagged ‘hookers’

The Golf Nut and the Hooker Joke of the DayEd and Dorothy met  while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her.

When they discovered  they lived in the same city only a few miles apart Ed was ecstatic. He  immediately started asking her out when they got  home.

Within a couple of  weeks, Ed had taken Dorothy to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies,  and museums.  Ed became convinced that Dorothy was indeed his soul mate and true love.  Every date seemed better than the last.

On the one-month anniversary of  their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed took Dorothy to a fine  restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Ed said, “I guess you can  tell I’m very much in love with you. I’d like a little serious talk before our relationship  continues to the next stage. So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life  changing question, it’s only fair to warn you, I’m a total golf nut. I play golf, I read  about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf.

If that’s going to  be a problem, for us, you’d better say so now!”

Dorothy took a deep breath and responded, “Ed, that certainly won’t  be a problem. I love you as you  are and I love golf too; but, since we’re being totally honest with each other, you need to  know that about the last five years I’ve been a hooker.”

“Oh wow!   I see,” Ed replied. He looked down at the table, and was quiet for a moment, deep in  thought then he added, “You  know, it’s probably just because you’re not keeping your wrists straight  when you tee off.”

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The Hooker’s Union Joke of the DayA  dedicated Teamsters union worker was attending a convention in  Las  Vegas and decided to  check out the local brothels. When he got to the first one, he  asked the Madam, ‘Is this a union house?’
‘No,’  she replied, ‘I’m sorry it isn’t.’
‘Well,  if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?’
‘The  house gets $80 and the girls get $20,’ she  answered.
Offended at such unfair dealings, the  union man stomped off down the street in search of a more  equitable, hopefully unionized shop. His search continued until  finally he reached a brothel where the Madam responded, ‘Why yes  sir, this is a union house.  ‘We observe all union  rules.’
The  man asked, ‘And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?’  ‘The girls get $80 and the house gets $20..’
‘That’s  more like it!’ the union man said.
He  handed the Madam $100, looked around the room, and pointed to a  stunningly attractive green-eyed blonde .

‘I’d  like her,’ he said.
‘I’m  sure you would, sir,’ said the Madam. Then she gestured to a  92-year old woman in the corner, ‘but Ethel here has 67 years  seniority and according to union rules, she’s  next.’

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