Slay.me

A blonde heard that baths in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.

When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake.  He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons.  So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, “I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?”

The blonde said, “No, I want 25 gallons.  I’m going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again.”

The milkman asked, “Do you want it pasteurized?”

The blonde said, “No, just up to my tits. I can splash it on my eyes.”

One day while on patrol a police officer pulled over a car for speeding.

He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window.

The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car was how hot the driver was! Drop dead blonde the works.

I’ve pulled you over for speeding ma’me…..could I see your drivers license…?

“…Whats a license…???” replied the blonde. instantly giving away the fact that she was as a stump.

Its usually in your wallet… replied the officer.

After fumbling for a few minutes the driver managed to find it. Now may I see your registration!!! Asked the cop.

Registration….whats that…?asked the blonde.

Its usually in your glove compartment said the cop impatiently after some more fumbling she found the registration. Ill be back in a minute..

the cop said and walked back to his car.  The officer phoned into the dispatch to run a check on the womans license and registration.

After a few moments the dispatcher came back. Ummm is this woman driving a red sports car.

Yes….Replied the officer.

Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde? asked the dispatcher.

Uh…Yes replied the cop.

Heres what you do…..said the dispatcher.

Give her stuff back and drop your pants.

WHAT!!!?Icant do that. Its ……..inappropriate..exclaimed the cop.

Trust me….Just do it..said the dispatcher.

So the cop goes back to the car gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said.

The blonde looks down and sighs….. Ohh no……not ANOTHER breathalyzer….