Posts Tagged ‘snoring’
02
Feb

Slay.me Joke of the DayA couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can’t sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help.

The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog’s testicles, and he will stop snoring.

‘Yeah right!’ she says.

A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring, as usual. The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep.  Muttering to herself, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of red ribbon and ties it carefully around the dog’s testicles.

Sure enough, the dog stops snoring.  The woman is amazed.

Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out drinking with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep and immediately begins
snoring loudly.

The woman decides maybe the ribbon might work on him. So, she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of blue  ribbon and ties it around her husband’s testicles.  Amazingly, it also works on him!

The woman sleeps soundly. The husband wakes from his drunken stupor and stumbles into the bathroom. As he stands in front of the toilet, he glances in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his privates.

He is very confused, and as he walks back into the bedroom, he sees the red ribbon attached to his dog’s testicles. He shakes his head and looks at the dog and whispers, ‘I don’t know where we were or what we did, but, by God we took FIRST and SECOND place!

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07
Sep

Slay.me Joke of the DayThe guys are all at a deer camp.  No one wants to room with Bob, because he snores so badly.  They decide it isn’t fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they vote to take turns.  The first guy sleeps with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.  They say, “Man, what happened to you?”  He says, “Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night.”

The next night it is a different guy’s turn.  In the morning, same thing – hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.  They say, “Man, what happened to you? You look awful!”  He says, ‘Man, that Bob shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night.”

The third night is Fred’s turn.  Fred is a tanned, older cowboy; a man’s man.  The next morning he comes to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.  “Good morning!” he says.  They can’t believe it.  They say, “Man, what happened?”  Fred says, “Well, we got ready for bed.  I went and tucked Bob into bed, patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night.  Bob sat up and watched me all night.”

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