Slay.me

After his plane was hit and he was forced to eject, the Navy fighter pilot finally regained consciousness.

He was in a hospital, in a lot of pain. He found himself in the ICU with tubes/IV drips in both arms, a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function and a nurse hovering over him, looking worried.

It was obvious he was in a life-threatening situation.

The nurse gave him a serious look, straight into his eyes.

Knowing he was not only a fighter pilot, but a Sailor, she spoke to him softly and slowly, enunciating each word: “You may not feel anything from the waist down.”

Somehow he managed to mumble in reply, “Can I feel your tits, then?”

And that, my friends, is a real positive attitude.

On pelosi’s visit to her plastic surgeon for her ninth face lift, the doctor asked her if she had any complaints regarding the other eight face lifts he performed on her. She responded, “I have only one complaint. I hate these bags under my eyes.” The doctor responded by saying, “those aren’t bags, they’re your tits”…. Pelosi responded “that explains where my goatee came from”…

By: Bob Nelson

My small grandson got lost at the shopping mall………

He approached a uniformed security guard and said, “I’ve lost my grandpa!”

“The guard asked, “What’s he like?”

The little tyke hesitated for a moment and then replied,

“Jack Daniels whiskey and women with big tits.”