Slay.me

why does santa have 3 gardens?

so he can ho ho ho

By: Kelly

Once upon a time,  a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new  Chief Samurai.  After a year, only three applied for  the job:  a Japanese, a Chinese, and a  Jewish Samurai.

“Demonstrate your skills!”  commanded the Emperor.

The Japanese samurai stepped  forward, opened a tiny box, and released a  fly.  He drew his samurai sword and *Swish!* the fly fell to the floor, neatly  divided in two!

“What a feat!” said the  Emperor.  “Number Two  Samurai, show me what you do.”

The Chinese samurai  smiled confidently, stepped forward and opened a tiny box,  releasing a  fly.  He drew his  samurai sword and * Swish! * Swish! * The fly fell to the  floor neatly quartered.

“That is skill!” nodded the  Emperor.  “How are  you going to top that, Number three Samurai?”

The  Jewish samurai, Obi-wan Cohen, stepped forward, opened a  tiny box releasing one fly, drew his samurai sword and  *Swoooooosh! * flourished his sword so mightily that a gust of wind blew through the room. But the fly was still buzzing around! In disappointment, the Emperor said, “What kind of  skill is that? The fly isn’t even dead.”

“Dead,” replied the Jewish Samurai!  “Dead is easy ~ but circumcised ?”

A six-year-old goes to the hospital with her mother to visit her Grandpa.

When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her mother and bursts into her Grandpa’s room.

“Grandpa, Grandpa,” she says excitedly, “as soon as my mother comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!”

“What?” said her Grandpa.

“Make a noise like a frog because my mom said that as soon as you croak, we’re all going to Disney World!