Posts Tagged ‘Fly’

The Tight Leather Skirt and the Texan Gentleman

Joke of the DayIn a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight leather skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.

Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn’t. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more.

zipFor the second time she attempted the step, and once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to make the step.

About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.

She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and screeched, “How dare you touch my body!   I don’t even know who you are!’

The Texan smiled and drawled, “Well, ma’am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times,

I kinda figured we was friends.

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The Jewish Samauri Joke of the DayOnce upon a time,  a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new  Chief Samurai.  After a year, only three applied for  the job:  a Japanese, a Chinese, and a  Jewish Samurai.

“Demonstrate your skills!”  commanded the Emperor.

The Japanese samurai stepped  forward, opened a tiny box, and released a  fly.  He drew his samurai sword and *Swish!* the fly fell to the floor, neatly  divided in two!

“What a feat!” said the  Emperor.  “Number Two  Samurai, show me what you do.”

The Chinese samurai  smiled confidently, stepped forward and opened a tiny box,  releasing a  fly.  He drew his  samurai sword and * Swish! * Swish! * The fly fell to the  floor neatly quartered.

“That is skill!” nodded the  Emperor.  “How are  you going to top that, Number three Samurai?”

The  Jewish samurai, Obi-wan Cohen, stepped forward, opened a  tiny box releasing one fly, drew his samurai sword and  *Swoooooosh! * flourished his sword so mightily that a gust of wind blew through the room. But the fly was still buzzing around! In disappointment, the Emperor said, “What kind of  skill is that? The fly isn’t even dead.”

“Dead,” replied the Jewish Samurai!  “Dead is easy ~ but circumcised ?”

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