Posts Tagged ‘sick jokes’
24
Jan

parrotA woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot.

There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.

“Why so little?” she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her and said, “Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff.”

The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird’s cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.

The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, “New house, new madam.”

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought “that’s really not so bad.”

When her two teenage daughters returned from school, the bird saw them and said, “New house, new madam, new girls.”

The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.

Moments later, the woman’s husband Keith came home from work. The bird looked at him and said,  “Hi Keith.”

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18
Aug

Joke of the DayA six-year-old goes to the hospital with her mother to visit her Grandpa.

When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her mother and bursts into her Grandpa’s room.

“Grandpa, Grandpa,” she says excitedly, “as soon as my mother comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!”

“What?” said her Grandpa.

“Make a noise like a frog because my mom said that as soon as you croak, we’re all going to Disney World!

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24
Feb

Slay.me Joke of the DayA cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are only 3 Survivors; George, Dave and Susie.

They manage to swim to a small island and they live there for a couple of years doing what’s natural for men and women to do..

After several years of casual sex, all the time, Susie felt absolutely horrible about what she was doing.

She felt having sex with both George and Dave  was so immoral and bad that she killed herself.

It was tragic, but George and  Dave managed to get through it. After a while,George and Dave ‘s resistance to nature’s urgings waned, and the inevitable happened.

Well, a couple more years went by and George and  Dave began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing.

So, they buried Susie.

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