Archive for the ‘Airplane Jokes’ Category

11
Sep

First, we would like to say that 9/11 was a horrible event and really isn’t a joking matter. That being said, there are a few jokes out there on the Internet that are not totally in bad taste, what do you think? Is it too soon to laugh?

Remember 9-11


“It’s a bird!”
“It’s a plane!”
“It’s…. Oh shit, it IS a plane!”


Q: What’s Al Qaida’s favorite football team?
A: The New York Jets


Q: What was the last thing going through Mr. Jones’ head when he was working on the World Trade Center’s 90th floor?
A: The 91st floor.


Q: What’s the last thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
A: Their ankles.


Q: What color were Mohammed Atta’s eyes?
A: Blue. One blue this way, the other blue that way!


Q: What’s the biggest difference between 9/11 and the Oklahoma City Bombing?
A: Foreigners once again prove they can do it better and more efficiently.


Have you heard about the decision about the memorial at the WTC site?
The city decided to go with an open park and the worlds largest franchise of the “International House of Pancakes!”


Q: What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center?
A: Two large planes!


A man goes to the doctor and the doctor says, “You are suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder from being in the Pentagon when it was struck by a plane.”
The man says, “Doc, I think I wanna second opinion!”
The doctor says, “OK- your breath stinks!”


What does WTC stand for? – “What Trade Center?”


Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds


Q: Why do tourists flock to New York?
A: It’s a blast


The FBI has just identified the man who trained the hijackers: Dale Earnhardt.


The New Name for New York City: “Manflatten”


Today FBI concluded that New York had been hit by a U.F.M (unidentified flying muslim)


Q: What did one terrorist say to the other terrorist before boarding their respective airplanes?
A: I slam, you slam, we all slam for Islam!


NEWSFLASH…. The WTC has been destroyed…. thousands of New York executives feared dead…. Hookers all across the city are in mourning…..


Q: Why didn’t Superman stop the planes from hitting the Trade Towers?
A: Because he’s a quadriplegic!


Q: What should have tipped off the ticket sellers?
A: When the terrorists asked if there was anything cheaper than one-way.


Q: What was the quickest escape time from the World Trade Center?
A: Ten seconds flat.


What’s the difference between Wembley and New York?
Wembley’s still got their twin towers.


Then there’s the retarded terrorist who tried to crash the A-Train into the World Trade Center……….


Top 10 Good Things About The WTC Attack

10. There are now 18 fewer Arab taxi drivers terrorizing the streets.
9. Flight training schools proved that they are expensive but worth it.
8. People are learning how to spell “Afghanistan” correctly.
7. Plenty of parking available at airports now.
6. Jerry Springer Show was off the air for a whole week.
5. Sales for U.S. flags are way up.
4. Several new job openings now at NYPD and NYFD.
3. Much lower electric bills for Manhattan.
2. Home videos of the WTC attack more spectacular than Arnold Schwarzenegger’s last
5 movies.
And the number one …
1. Some great new unobstructed views of Manhattan now.

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05
Jun

So today in geometry, my teacher said “Adam, give me an example of two planes intersecting, and don’t say 9/11.” This is now my favorite teacher.

By: adam baker

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23
Apr

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew’s refrigerator.

He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.

Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.
Shortly before landing in New York , she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, “Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans please raise your hand?”

Not one hand went up ….. so she took them home and ate them.

Two lessons here:
1. Lawyers aren’t as smart as they think they are.
2. Blondes aren’t as dumb as most folks think!

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