14
Sep
A woman goes to her doctor, complaining that her husband is 300% impotent.
The doctor says, “I’m not sure I understand what you mean.”
She says, “Well, the first 100% you can imagine.
In addition, he burned his tongue and broke his finger!”
Archive for the ‘Sick Perverted Jokes’ Category
07
Aug
A truck driver sees a girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops.
“What are you doing?” he says.
“I going to commit suicide,” she says.
“Well, before you jump, why don’t you give me a blowjob.”
So, she does.
After she’s finished, the trucker says, “Wow! That’s a wasted talent. Why are you committing suicide?”.
“My parents don’t like me dressing up like a girl……”
30
Jul
A professor at the Auburn University was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies.
To get a feel for his audience, he asks, ‘How many people here believe in ghosts?’
About 90 students raise their hands.
Well, that’s a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?’
About 40 students raise their hands.
That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?’
About 15 students raise their hand.
Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?’
Three students raise their hands.
That’s fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further…Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?’
Way in the back, Ahmed raises his hand.
The professor takes off his glasses and says ‘Son, all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.’
The Middle Eastern student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium.
When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, ‘So, Ahmed, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost?’
Ahmed replied, “Shit, from way back there I thought you said Goats.”