Slay.me

Playing from the Women’s Tee at Twin Pines Country Club!

10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

9. Hold up. I’ve got to wash my balls.

8. Just turn your back and drop it.

7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.

6. Lift your head and spread your legs.

5. My hands are so sweaty I can’t get a good grip.

4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.

3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.

2. Oh, dang, my shaft’s all bent.

and the numbe r 1 think in Golf that sounds dirty

1. Look at the size of his putter.

Golfer: “I think I’m going to drown myself in the lake.”
Caddy: “Think you can keep your head down that long?”

Golfer: “I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.”
Caddy: “Try heaven, you’ve already moved most of the earth.”

Golfer: “Do you think my game is improving?”
Caddy: “Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now.”

Golfer: “Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?”
Caddy: “Eventually.”

Golfer: “You’ve got to be the worst caddy in the world.”
Caddy: “I don’t think so sir. That would be too much of a
coincidence.”

Golfer: “Please stop checking your watch all the time. It’s too
much of a distraction.”
Caddy: “It’s not a watch— it’s a compass.”

Golfer: “How do you like my game?”
Caddy: “Very good, sir, but personally, I prefer golf.”

Golfer: “Do you think it’s a sin to play on Sunday?”
Caddy: “The way you play, sir.”

Golfer: “This is the worst course I’ve ever played on.”
Caddy: “This isn’t the golf course. We left that an hour ago.”

Golfer: “That can’t be my ball, it’s too old.”
Caddy: “It’s been a long time since we teed off, sir.”