Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
‘How was he killed?’ asked one detective.
‘With a golf gun,’ the other detective replied.
‘A golf gun! What is a golf gun?’ ‘I don’t know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.’
Arthur is 95 years old. He’s played golf every day since his retirement 30 years ago.
One day he arrives home looking downcast. “That’s it,” he tells his wife.
I’m giving up golf.. My eyesight has gotten so bad…once I’ve hit the ball, I can’t see where it went.”
His wife sympathizes, and as they sit down, she says, “Why don’t you take my brother with you, and give it one more try.”
“That’s no good,” sighs Arthur. “Your brother is a hundred and three. He can’t help.”
“He may be a hundred and three”, says the wife, “but his eyesight is perfect.”
So the next day, Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes a mighty swing, and squints down the airway. He turns to the brother-in-law. “Did you see the ball?”
“Of course I did!” says the brother-in-law. “I have perfect eyesight.”
“Where did it go?” asks Arthur.
“I can’t remember!”
The Swede’s wife stepped up to the tee and, as she bent over to place her ball, a gust of wind blew her skirt up and revealed her lack of underwear.
“Good God, woman! Why aren’t you wearing any skivvies?”, Ole demanded.
“Well, you don’t give me enough housekeeping money to afford any,” she replied.
The Swede immediately reached into his pocket and said, “For the sake of decency, here’s a $50. Go and buy yourself some underwear.”
Next, the Irishman’s wife bent over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blew up to show that she, too, is wearing no undies. “Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You’ve no knickers. Why not?”
She replied, “I can’t afford any on the little money you give me.”
Patrick reached into his pocket and said, “For the sake of decency, here’s a $20. Go out and buy yourself some underwear!”
Lastly, the Scotsman’s wife bent over. The wind also took her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked.
“Sweet mudder of Jaysus, Aggie! Where the friggin hell are yer drawers?”
She too explained, ‘You dinna give me enough money to be able at affarrd any.”
The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and said, “Well, fer the love ‘o decency, here’s a comb. Tidy yerself up a bit..”