Slay.me

On the  morning of Rosh Hashanah as the congregation was filing into the Synagogue, Rabbi Liebenberg noticed little Max standing in the foyer of the Synagogue staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names with small flags mounted on either side of it. The six-year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the rabbi walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, ‘Boker Tov, Max.  ‘Boker Tov, Rabbi Liebenberg,’ he replied,  still focused on the plaque. ‘ Rabbi Liebenberg, what is this?’ he said, pointing to the plaque.

The good Rabbi tenderly put his arm around Max’s shoulder and said, ‘ Well son, it’s a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.”

Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque.

Finally, little Max, in a voice barely audible and trembling with fear asked:

‘Which service, Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur?’

A  U.S. Navy cruiser was anchored in Mississippi for a week’s shore leave.

The first evening, the ship’s Captain received the following note

from the wife of a wealthy plantation owner:

‘Dear Captain: Thursday will be my daughter Melinda’s Debutante Ball.  I would like you to send four well mannered, handsome, unmarried officers in their formal dress uniforms to attend the dance.

They should arrive promptly at 8:00 PM prepared for an evening of polite Southern conversation.  They should be excellent dancers, as they will be the escorts of lovely refined young ladies.

One last point:  No Jews please.’

8:00 PM on Thursday, Melinda’s mother heard a polite rap at the door which she opened to find, in full dress uniform, four smiling black officers.  Her mouth fell open, but pulling herself together, she stammered,

‘There must be some mistake.’

‘No, Madam,’ said the first officer.

‘Captain Goldberg never makes mistakes.’

A Jewish couple in London won twenty-million pounds in the lottery.

They immediately set out to begin a life of luxury. They bought a magnificent mansion in Knightsbridge and surrounded themselves with all the material wealth imaginable.

They decided to hire a butler. They found the perfect butler through an agency, very proper and very British, and brought him back to their home.

The day after his arrival, he was instructed to set up the dining table for four, as they were inviting the Cohens to lunch.

The couple then left the house to do some shopping.

When they returned, they found the table set for six.

Perplexed, they asked the butler why it was set for six when they had expressly asked him to set it for four.

The butler replied, “The Cohens telephoned and said they were bringing the Blintzes.