Archive for the ‘Kids Jokes’ Category

05
Jul

Slay.me Joke of the DayA Georgia Congressman was seated next to a little girl on the airplane leaving from Atlanta when he turned to her and said, ‘Let’s talk.  I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.’

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the total stranger, ‘What would you like to talk about?’

‘Oh, I don’t know,’ said the southern congressman.  ‘How about global warming or universal health care’, and he smiles smugly.

OK, ‘ she said.  ‘Those could be interesting topics.  But let me ask you a question first.  A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass.  Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass.  Why do you suppose that is?’

The southern legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, ‘Hmmm, I have no idea.’

To which the little girl replies, ‘Do you really feel qualified to discuss global warming or universal health care when you don’t know shit?

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16
Jun

Slay.me Joke of the DayOne day my mother was out, and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little ‘tea set’ as a gift, and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought him a little cup of ‘tea’, which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my mom came home.

My dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was ‘just the cutest thing!’  Mom waited, and sure enough, here I came down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy; and she watched him drink it up.

Then she said, (as only a mother would know), “‘Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water, is the toilet?”

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28
Feb

Slay.me Joke of the DayA teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class.

She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home.

She read. ‘And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: ‘Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?’

The teacher paused then asked the class: ‘And what do you think the man said?’

One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly…

‘I think the man would have said – ‘I’ll be a son of a bitch!! A talking pig!’

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