10. Damn, I missed the hole again.
9. Hold up. I’ve got to wash my balls.
8. Just turn your back and drop it.
7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.
6. Lift your head and spread your legs.
5. My hands are so sweaty I can’t get a good grip.
4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.
2. Oh, dang, my shaft’s all bent.
and the numbe r 1 think in Golf that sounds dirty
1. Look at the size of his putter.
It was 1965 & an elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession.
When the priest slid open the panel in the Confessional, The man said: ‘Father … During World War II, a beautiful
Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic.’
The priest replied: ‘That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that.’
‘There is more to tell, Father… She started to repay me with sexual favors.
This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays.’
The priest said, ‘That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger. But two people under
those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven.’
‘Thank you, Father. That’s a great load off my mind.
I do have one more question.’
‘And what is that?’ asked the priest.
‘Should I tell her the war is over?”
A LITTLE THREE YEAR OLD BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET. HIS MOTHER THINKS HE HAS BEEN IN THERE TOO LONG, SO SHE GOES IN TO SEE WHAT’S UP. THE LITTLE BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET READING A BOOK.
BUT ABOUT EVERY 10 SECONDS OR SO HE PUTS THE BOOK DOWN, GRIPS ONTO TO THE TOILET SEAT WITH HIS LEFT HAND AND HITS HIMSELF ON TOP OF THE HEAD WITH HIS RIGHT HAND.
HIS MOTHER SAYS: “BILLY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? YOU’VE BEEN IN HERE FOR A WHILE.”
BILLY SAYS: “I’M FINE, MOMMY.. I JUST HAVEN’T GONE ‘DOODY’ YET.”
MOTHER SAYS: “OK, YOU CAN STAY HERE A FEW MORE MINUTES. BUT, BILLY, WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF ON THE HEAD?”
BILLY SAYS: “WORKS FOR KETCHUP.”