Slay.me

A guy can’t obtain an erection so he goes to the doctor.

The doctor tells him the muscles at the base of his penis are broken down and there’s nothing he can do unless he’s willing to try an experimental surgery.

The guy asks what the surgery is.

The doctor tells him they take the muscles from the base of a baby elephants trunk, insert them in the base of his penis, and hope for the best.

The guy says that sounds pretty scary but the thought of never having sex again is even scarier so go ahead.

The doctor goes ahead and performs the surgery and about 6 weeks later gives him the go ahead to “try out his new equipment”.

The guy takes his girlfriend out to dinner.  While at dinner he starts feeling an incredible pressure in his pants.  It gets incredibly unbearable and he figures no one can see him so he undoes his pants. No sooner does he do this than his penis pops out of his pants, rolls across the table, grabs a dinner roll, and disappears back into his pants.

His girlfriend sits in shock for a few moments, then gets a sly look on her face.   She says “That was pretty cool! Can you do that again?”

With his eyes watering and a painful expression on his face, he says “Probably, but I don’t know if I can fit another dinner roll up my ass!”.

There are three hunters in the woods. At the same time they all feel them self get shot in the ass with a dart.

When they woke up they are all bare ass with there butts in the air. There is a tribe around them bowing down and worshipping them saying oooooooohhhhhhhhh ooooohhhhhhhh ooooooooohhhhhhh oooooohhhhhh.

The tribe goes silent and they all split. A chief walks between the crowd.

The chief goes up to the first guy and says “You have two choice death, or Bongo!”.

The man thinks in his head “Well i don’t want to die so i guess Bongo!”. So he tells the chief he wants Bongo!.

So the chief turns around to the crowd and yells “Bongo!!!”

Immediately the tribe runs in and starts fucking the guy in the ass, all of them. This guy is out.

So the chief goes up to the second guy and says “You have two choice death or Bongo!”.

So the guy thinks for a second and says “Well at least ill live to tell about it and you know maybe the tribe is tired so, Bongo!”.

So the chief turns around to the tribe and yells “Bongo!!!”

The tribe splits and a whole new tribe comes in and starts doing him in the ass and after they are done the first tribe comes and does the same. This guy is out, his ass cheeks are sagging he is just out of it.

Before the chief gets to the third guy, the man already knows that he wants to be killed.  So the chief comes up to him and says “You have two choice death or Bongo!”.

The man says “There is no way in hell your there pulling three tribes on me. I choose death, kill me now just get it over with”.

So the chief turns around to the crowd and yells “DEATH….  by BONGO!!!”

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?”

Dad says, “Well, son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me Capitalism. Your Mom, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you the People.

“We’ll consider the nanny as the Working Class,” he went on. And your baby brother, we’ll call him the Future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense.”

So the little boy goes to bed thinking about what dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents’ room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, “Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.”

The father says, “Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.”

The little boy replies, “Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in Deep Shit.”