Archive for the ‘Joke of the Day’ Category

08
Dec

Slay.me Joke of the DayGeorge Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for.

The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth. Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes.

When he was finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.

Next Queen Elizabeth call England and talks for 30 minutes.

When she was finished the devil informs her that cost is 6 million dollars, so Queen Elizabeth writes him a check.

Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours.

When he was finished the devil informed him that there would be no charge for the call and feel free to call the USA anytime.

When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA free.

The devil replied, “Since Obama became president of the USA, the country has gone to hell, so it’s a local call.”

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04
Dec

The New Girlfriend Joke

Slay.me Joke of the DayA man was laying in bed with his new girlfriend.

After having great sex, she spent the next hour just stroking his penis, something she seemed to love to do.

Enjoying it, he turned and asked her, ‘Why do you love doing that?’

She replied, ‘Because I really miss mine.’

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03
Dec

The Cardiologist’s Funeral Joke

Slay.me Joke of the DayA very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital he worked for most of his life… A huge heart… covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the hospital sat in awe.

Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside.The heart t hen closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners just -burst- into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, ‘I am so sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral… I’m a gynecologist.

The proctologist fainted.

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