Slay.me

Two Middle Eastern mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat’s milk.

The older of the mothers pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos and they start reminiscing.

‘This is my oldest son Mohammed. He would be 24 years old now.’

‘Yes, I remember him as a baby’ says the other mother cheerfully.

‘He’s a martyr now though’ mum confides. ‘Oh, so sad dear’ says the other.

And this is my second son Kalid. He would be 21′

‘Oh, I remember him,’ says the other happily, ‘he had such curly hair when he was born’.

‘He’s a martyr too’ says mum quietly.

‘Oh, gracious me …’ Says the other.

‘And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He would be 18, she whispers.

‘Yes’ says the friend enthusiastically, ‘I remember when he first started school’

‘He’s a martyr also,’ says mum, with tears in her eyes.

After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says…

‘They blow up so fast, don’t they?’

10. Keep your back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart.

9. Form a loose grip.

8. Keep your head down.

7. Avoid a quick backswing.

6. Stay out of the water.

5. Try not to hit anybody.

4. If you are taking too long, you should let others go ahead of you.

3. You shouldn’t stand directly in front of others.

2. Be quiet while others are about to go.

1. Keep strokes to a minimum.

Two couples were playing cards.  John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor.  When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Bill’s wife wasn’t wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, John hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments.  Bill’s wife followed him and asked, “Did you see anything that you liked under there?”

John admitted that, well, yes, he did.

She said, “You can have it, but it will cost you $100.”

After a minute or two, John indicates that he is interested. She tells him that since Bill works Friday afternoons and John doesn’t, John should come to her house around 2:00 pm on Friday.

Friday came and John went to her house at 2:00 pm.  After paying her $100 they went to the bedroom, had sex and then John left.  Bill came home about 6:00 pm.  He asked his wife, “Did John come by this afternoon?”

Reluctantly, she replied, “Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes.”

Next Bill asked, “Did John give you $100?”

She thinks, “Oh hell, he knows!” Finally she says, “Well, yes… he did give me $100.”

“Good,” Bill says.  “John came by the office this morning and borrowed $100 from me.  He said that he would stop by our house on his way home and pay me back.”