03
Dec
03
Dec
A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital he worked for most of his life… A huge heart… covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the hospital sat in awe.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside.The heart t hen closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.
At that point, one of the mourners just -burst- into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, ‘I am so sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral… I’m a gynecologist.
The proctologist fainted.
02
Dec
The Latest Tiger Woods Accident Jokes:
• FLA Highway Patrol: Mrs. Woods, how many times did you hit Tiger with a golf club?
Mrs. Woods: 8 times, but put me down for a 5.
• What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.
• What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning?
They went clubbing
• Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.
• Ping just offered Elin Woods an endorsement contract pushing her own set of drivers. They said to named Elin Woods…”clubs you can beat Tiger with.”
• Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat family–his new name?: Cheetah
• Since Tiger drives an Escalade, can he blame the accident on his Caddy?
· FLA Highway Patrol: Mrs. Woods, how many times did you hit Tiger with a golf club?
Mrs. Woods: 8 times, but put me down for a 5.
· What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.
· What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning?
They went clubbing
· Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.
· Ping just offered Elin Woods an endorsement contract pushing her own set of drivers. They said to named Elin Woods…”clubs you can beat Tiger with.”
· Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat family–his new name?: Cheetah
· Since Tiger drives an Escalade, can he blame the accident on his Caddy?