Posts Tagged ‘adultry jokes’
28
Sep

Slay.me Joke of the DayOne afternoon Howard accidentally overturned his golf cart.

Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a condo on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, “Are you okay, what’s your name?”

“It’s Howard, and I’m okay, thanks,” he replied.

“Howard, forget your troubles. Come up to my condo and rest for awhile, and I’ll help you get the cart up later.”

“That’s mighty nice of you,” he answered, “but I don’t think my wife would like it.”

“Oh, come on,” Elizabeth insisted. She was very pretty, very sexy and so persuasive and Howard was weak.

“Well okay,” he finally agreed, and added, “but my wife. won’t like it.”

After a glass of scotch, and some very creative putting lessons demonstrated by Elizabeth, he thanked his host. “I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset.”

“Don’t be silly!” Elizabeth said with a smile, “She won’t know anything. By the way, where is she?”

“Probably still under the cart!” Howard said.

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04
May

Slay.me Joke of the DayThe lawyer says to the wealthy art collector tycoon: “I have some good news and, I have some bad news…”

The tycoon replies: “I’ve had an awful day, let’s hear the good news first?

The lawyer says: “Well your wife invested $5,000 in two pictures this week that she figures are worth a minimum of $20 to $30 million.”

The tycoon replies enthusiastically: “Well done…very good news indeed! You’ve    just made my day; now what’s the bad news?”

The lawyer answers: “The pictures are of you with your secretary.”

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17
Jul

Funny LeprechaunThe mother-in-law arrives home from shopping to find her son-in-law  Paddy in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase.

“What  happened Paddy ?” she asks anxiously.

“What happened!! I’ll tell you what happened. I sent an email to my wife  (your daughter) telling her I was coming home today from my fishing  trip. I get home . . . and guess what I found? Yes, your daughter, my wife  Jean, naked with Joe Murphy in our marital bed! This is unforgivable,  the end of our marriage. I’m done. I’m leaving forever!”

“Ah now, calm down, calm down Paddy!” says his mother-in-law. “There  is something very odd going on here. My daughter would never do such a  thing! There must be a simple explanation. I’ll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened.”

Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile.

“Paddy. I told you there must be a simple explanation ….

She never got your E-mail!”

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