Slay.me

Yesterday I had a flat tire on the interstate.  So I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car and opened the trunk.

I took out 2 cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic. They look so lifelike you wouldn’t believe!

They are in trench coats, exposing their nude bodies and private parts to the approaching drivers.

I started to change my tire, and to my surprise, cars started slowing down looking at my lifelike men.  And of course, traffic started backing up.  Everybody was tooting their horns and waving like crazy. It wasn’t long before a state trooper pulled up behind me.

He got out of his car and started walking towards me.  I could tell he was not a happy camper!

“What’s going on here?”

“My car has a flat tire,” I said calmly.

“Well, what are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?”

I couldn’t believe that he didn’t know.  So I told him, “Hello-o-o-o-o-o, those are my emergency flashers!”

Three men died and went to heaven. Upon their arrival, St. Peter asked the first if he had been faithful to his wife. The man admitted to two affairs during his marriage. St. Peter told him that he could receive only a compact car to drive in heaven.

Then St. Peter asked the second man if he had been faithful to his wife and the man admitted to one affair. St. Peter told him he would be given a midsize car to drive.

The third man was asked about his faithfulness, and he told St. Peter he had been true to his wife until the day he died. St. Peter praised him and gave him a luxury car.

A week later the three men were driving around, and they all stopped at a red light. The men in the compact and midsize cars turned to see the man in the luxury car crying. They asked him what could possibly be the matter–after all, he was driving a luxury car.

“I just passed my wife,” he told them, “and she was on a skateboard.”