Posts Tagged ‘church joke’
26
Apr

Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So… he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away.

This way he knew he wouldn’t accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!

At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, “You’re not going to let him get away with this, are you?” The Lord sighed, and said,

“No, I guess not.” Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. IT WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE !

St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, “Why did you let him do that?” The Lord smiled and replied, “Who’s he going to tell?”

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06
Mar

A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door.

Therefore, he took out a business card and wrote ‘Revelation 3:20’ on the back of it and stuck it in the door.

When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, ‘Genesis 3:10..’

Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.

Revelation 3:20 begins ‘Behold, I stand at the door and knock.

Genesis 3:10 reads, ‘I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked.’

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23
Nov

Slay.me Joke of the DayA priest was called away for an emergency.  Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him.  The rabbi told him he wouldn’t know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he’d stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do. The rabbi comes and he and the priest are in the confessional.

A few minutes later, a woman comes in and says, “Father forgive me for I have sinned.”

The priest asks “What did you do?”

The woman says, “I committed adultery.”

Priest: “How many times?”

Woman: “Three times.”

Priest: “Say two Hail Mary’s, put five dollars in the box and go and sin no more.”  A few minutes later a man enters the confessional.

He says, “Father forgive me for I have sinned.”

Priest: “What did you do?”

Man: “I committed adultery.”

Priest:”How many times?”

Man: “Three times.”

Priest: “Say two Hail Mary’s, put five dollars in the box and go and sin no more.”

The rabbi tells the priest that he thinks he’s got it so the priest leaves.

A few minutes later another woman enters and says, “Father forgive me for I have sinned.”

Rabbi: “What did you do?”

Woman: “I committed adultery.”

Rabbi: “How many times?”

Woman: “Once.”

Rabbi: “Go do it two more times.  We have a special this week, three for five dollars.”

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