Slay.me

Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So… he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away.

This way he knew he wouldn’t accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!

At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, “You’re not going to let him get away with this, are you?” The Lord sighed, and said,

“No, I guess not.” Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. IT WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE !

St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, “Why did you let him do that?” The Lord smiled and replied, “Who’s he going to tell?”

Three  men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at  the pearly gates.

“In honor of this holy season”  Saint Peter said,  “You must each possess something  that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.”

The  first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a  lighter. He flicked it on. “It represents a candle”, he  said.

“You may pass through the pearly  gates” Saint Peter said.

The  second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of  keys.  He shook them and said, “They’re bells.”

Saint Peter said “You may pass through the pearly gates”.

The third man started searching  desperately through his pockets and finally pulled  out a pair of women’s panties.

St. Peter looked at  the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, “And just what do those symbolize?”

The man  replied, “These are Carol’s.”