Slay.me

One day there was a big lady swimming at the beach when she noticed that she had lost her top. She thought that no one would notice if she covered herself with her arms and walked overto her towel. Then a little girl came running up to her.

“If you’re going to drown those puppies, at least let me have the one with the cute little pink nose.”

A couple had been married  10 years. One afternoon, they were working in the garden together. As the wife was bending over pulling weeds, the husband said, ”Hey honey, you’re getting fat. Your butt is huge. I’ll bet it’s as wide as the gas grill.”

Feeling the need to prove his point, he got out a yard stick and measured the grill, then his wife’s butt. ”Yep,” he said,” just what I thought, just about the same size.”

The wife became incensed and left him gardening alone. She went inside the house and didn’t speak to him for the rest of the day.

When they retired to bed that evening, the husband cuddled up to his wife and said, ”How about it, honey? How about a little lovemaking?”

The wife turned her back to him, giving him the cold shoulder. ”What’s the matter?” he asked.

She replied, ”You don’t think I’m going to fire up this big ass grill for one little weenie, do you?’