Posts Tagged ‘naked’
Jul Joke of the DayTwo little old ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a  flower show was in progress.

The thin one leaned over and said, ‘Life is  so boring. We never have any fun any more.

For $10 I’d take my clothes off and  streak through that stupid flower  show!’

‘You’re on!’ said the other old lady, holding  up a $10 bill.

The first little old lady slowly fumbled her way  out of her clothes and, completely naked, streaked (as  fast as an old lady can) through the front door of the flower show.

Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud  applause and shrill whistling.

Finally, the smiling and naked old lady came through the exit door surrounded by a cheering crowd.

‘What happened?’ asked her waiting friend.

‘I won 1st prize as ‘Best Dried Arrangement’.

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Sexy and Seductive Neighbor Joke Joke of the DayA young man moved out from home and into a new apartment, all of his own, he went proudly down to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.

While there, an stunning young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing only a robe.

The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with Him.

As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.

After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, ‘Let’s go to my apartment, I hear someone coming.’

He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.

Now nude, she purred at him, ‘What would you say is my best feature?’

Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, ‘It’s got to be your ears.’

Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, ‘My ears?!?!?” Look at these breasts; they are a full 38 inches and 100% natural. I work out every day and my ass is firm and solid. I have a 28 inch waist. Look at my skin – not a blemish anywhere.

How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?’

Clearing his throat, he stammered… ‘Outside, when you said you heard someone coming… That was me.’

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Why I fired my Secretary

Yesterday was my birthday And I didn’t feel very well Waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast Hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, ‘Happy Birthday!’, And possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out, She barely said good morning, Let alone ‘Happy Birthday.’

I thought…

Well, that’s marriage for you, But the kids… They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast And didn’t say a word.

So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low And somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, My secretary Jane said, ‘Good Morning Boss, And by the way Happy Birthday! ‘

It felt a little better That at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o’clock, When Jane knocked on my door And said, ‘You know, It’s such a beautiful day outside, And it is your Birthday, S0 What do you say we go out to lunch, Just you and me.’

I said, ‘Thanks, Jane, that’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go!’

We went to lunch. But we didn’t go Where we normally would go. She chose instead at a quiet bistro With a private table. We had two martinis each And I enjoyed the meal tremendously…

On the way back to the office, Jane said, ‘You know, It’s such a beautiful day…. We don’t need to go straight back to the office, Do we ?’

I responded, ‘I guess not. What do you have in mind?’

She said, ‘Let’s drop by my apartment, it’s just around the corner.’


After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, ‘ Boss, if you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom For just a moment. I’ll be right back.’

‘Ok.’ I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, After a couple of minutes, She came out Carrying a huge birthday cake ……..

Followed By my wife, My kids, And dozens of my friends And co-workers, All singing ‘Happy Birthday’.

And I just sat there…

On the couch…


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