Posts Tagged ‘Dirty Joke’
20
Jul

Slay.me Joke of the DayA young man moved out from home and into a new apartment, all of his own, he went proudly down to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.

While there, an stunning young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing only a robe.

The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with Him.

As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.

After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, ‘Let’s go to my apartment, I hear someone coming.’

He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.

Now nude, she purred at him, ‘What would you say is my best feature?’

Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, ‘It’s got to be your ears.’

Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, ‘My ears?!?!?” Look at these breasts; they are a full 38 inches and 100% natural. I work out every day and my ass is firm and solid. I have a 28 inch waist. Look at my skin – not a blemish anywhere.

How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?’

Clearing his throat, he stammered… ‘Outside, when you said you heard someone coming… That was me.’

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14
Jul

Slay.me Joke of the DayQ: Who is the most popular man in a nudist colony?

A: The one who can carry 2 large coffees and a dozen donuts.

Q: Who is the most popular woman in a nudist colony?

A: The one who can eat the last two donuts.

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13
May

Slay.me Joke of the DayA young Catholic man goes to confession and says, “Father, it has been one month since my last confession. I have had sex with Nookie Green every week for the last month.”

 

The priest tells the sinner, “You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary’s.”

 

Soon after, another man enters the confessional. “Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the last two months.”

 

This time the priest questions, “Who is Nookie Green?”

 

“A new woman in the neighborhood,” the sinner replies.

 

“Very well,” sighs the priest. “Go and say ten Hail “Mary’s.”

 

At Mass the next morning, as the priest prepares to deliver his sermon, a tall, voluptuous, drop dead gorgeous woman enters the sanctuary. The eyes of every man in the church fall upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down right in front of the Priest!

 

Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green shoes.

 

The priest and altar boy gasp, as the woman in the matching green shoes and dress sits with her legs slightly spread apart. The priest turns to the altar boy and whispers, “Is that Nookie Green?”

 

The bug-eyed altar boy can’t believe his ears but replies, “No, I think it’s just the reflection off her shoes!”

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