Slay.me

Three nuns were attending a cubs baseball game.

Three men were sitting directly behind.

Because their habits were partially blocking the view, the men decided to badger the nuns hoping that they’d get annoyed enough to move to another area. In a very loud voice, the first guy said, “i think i’m going to move to utah.. There are only 100 nuns living there..”

Then the second guy spoke up and said, “i want to go to montana.. There are only 5o nuns living there..”

The third guy said, “i want to go to idaho.. There are only 25 nuns living there..”

One of the nuns turned around, looked at the men, and in a very sweet and calm voice said,

“Why don’t you go to hell .. There aren’t any nuns there!”

A young priest was visiting a convent. One day he was taking shower, when he realized that he didn’t have any soap

He wrapped a towel around himself and ran to his room, hoping no one saw him.

He got to his room, grabbed the soap and was running back to his shower. On his way, his towel came off, but he heard two nuns coming down the hallway. He was forced to leave the towel, and stand like a statue.

When the nuns came to him, one said, ”Look! A new soap dispenser!”

Another said, ”How you get the soap?”

So one pulled on his dick, and a bar of soap fell from his hand. ‘

‘Look! I got a bar of soap!” said the nun.

The second nun pulled on his dick. ”Look! I got liquid soap!”

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye….It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought….

Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 MILES

Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, ‘What may we do for you my son?’

He answers, ‘I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business….’

‘Very well my son. Please follow me.’ He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, ‘Please knock on this door..’

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door… This nun instructs, ‘Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway.’

He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him.

The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign:

GO IN PEACE.
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS. SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER