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Maude and John, both 81, lived in The Villages, in Florida.

They met at the singles club meeting and discovered over time that they enjoyed each other’s company.

After several weeks of meeting for coffee, John asked Maude out for dinner and, much to his delight, she accepted.  They had a lovely evening.  They dined at the most romantic restaurant in town.

Despite his age, they ended at his place for an after-dinner drink.  Things continued along a natural course and age being no inhibitor, Maude soon joined John for a most enjoyable roll in the sack.

As they were basking in the glow of the magic moments they’d shared, each was lost for a time in their own thoughts …

John was thinking: ‘If I’d known she was a virgin, I’d have been gentler.’

Maude was thinking: ‘If I’d known he could still do it, I would have taken off my pantyhose.’

A man feared his wife wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.

Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple formal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here’s what you do,” said the Doctor, “stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you.

If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens.”

Then in a normal tone he asks, ‘Honey , what’s for dinner?”

No response.

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

Again he gets no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

“Ralph, for the FIFTH time, it’s CHICKEN!”

An elderly couple was attending church services. About halfway through, she leaned over and whispered To her husband, ‘I just let out a long silent fart. What Do you think I should do?’

He replied, ‘Put a new battery in your hearing aid.’