Posts Tagged ‘scottsman’
26
Apr

No Panties Golf Joke

Slay.me Joke of the DayThe Swede’s wife stepped up to the tee and, as she bent over to place her ball, a gust of wind blew her skirt up and revealed her lack of underwear.

“Good God, woman! Why aren’t you wearing any skivvies?”, Ole demanded.

“Well, you don’t give me enough housekeeping money to afford any,” she replied.

The Swede immediately reached into his pocket and said, “For the sake of decency, here’s a $50. Go and buy yourself some underwear.”

Next, the Irishman’s wife bent over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blew up to show that she, too, is wearing no undies. “Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You’ve no knickers. Why not?”

She replied, “I can’t afford any on the little money you give me.”

Patrick reached into his pocket and said, “For the sake of decency, here’s a $20. Go out and buy yourself some underwear!”

Lastly, the Scotsman’s wife bent over. The wind also took her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked.

“Sweet mudder of Jaysus, Aggie! Where the friggin hell are yer drawers?”

She too explained, ‘You dinna give me enough money to be able at affarrd any.”

The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and said, “Well, fer the love ‘o decency, here’s a comb. Tidy yerself up a bit..”

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09
Mar

The Pig and the Scottsman!

Slay.me Joke of the DayA SCOTSMAN walks into the bedroom with a sheep on a leash and says…

“Honey, this is the pig I make love to when you have a headache.”

The wife, lying in the bed reading a book, looks up and says,

“If you weren’t such an idiot, you’d know that’s a sheep, Not a pig.”

The guy replies, “If you weren’t such a presumptuous bitch,

You’d realize I was talking to the sheep.”

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