Posts Tagged ‘sex joke’

Joke of the DayA young Jewish couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.

“Well”, said her mother, “so how was the honeymoon?”

“Oh mama”, she replied, “the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic”

… Suddenly she burst out crying. “But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language — things I’d never heard before in our home! I mean, all these awful four-letter words! You’ve got to take me home!” “PLEASE MAMA !”

“Sarah, Sarah”, her mother said, “calm down! You need to stay with your husband and work this out.” ‘Now, tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT four-letter words?”

“Please don’t make me tell you, mama,” wept the daughter. “I’m so embarrassed, they’re just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!”

“Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible four-letter words!”

Sobbing, the bride said, “Oh, Mama…, he used words like:”DUST, WASH, IRON, and COOK…”

“I’ll pick you up in twenty minutes.”susan

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irish pub jokeJohn O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs of me wife !”

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night !

He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the Best toast of The night.”

She said, “Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?”

John said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.”

“Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, “John won the prize the other night at The pub with a toast about you, Mary.”

She said, “Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he’s only been in there twice in the last four years. “Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep”.

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Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.

One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.

The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.

After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, ‘I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!’

‘IMPOSSIBLE !’ said the groom broom.


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